Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Ending My Hibernation

Yesterday I went to work for the first time in months. The reality of how long I had been away struck me when I entered my office. An unopened Christmas card was on my desk. On the wall hung my 2010 calendar still on December. In reality, I hadn't been to work since November but my co-worker changed it for me (she has a pet peeve over calendars that aren't on the right month).  I'm sure it killed her to leave a 2010 calendar on the wall, but it served as a reminder of how long I've been gone.  I'm so thankful that my bosses are understanding about my absence. I've worked when able from my laptop, but it's not the same as being there. 

My welcome back flowers and cinnamon crunch bagel from my boss :)


Everything feels strange to me. I can't believe it is spring because I missed winter. I suppose that's a very good thing. Still, I feel like I'm coming out of hibernation and I can't wait until Ramsey can join me. It is hard feeling stuck at home, but I can't complain...it's good to have him home with us, period.

Look who's smiling!
Ramsey had another checkup today and is up to 8lbs. 8oz! I'm surprised he is still gaining weight consistently since I started nursing him almost exclusively. We were skeptical of how well he would do with nursing since he was getting extra calories when bottle fed.

Today, he had his second Synagis shot (for RSV) and may need another one next month; not what I wanted to hear since I am anxious for the season of germs to be over. I received this information about RSV today that helps to explain what it is and why it would be harmful to Ramsey:
"Respiratory syncytial virus, or RSV, causes most children to develop a cold. RSV is very common. In fact, almost all children catch RSV by age two. But for most babies born early or with certain lung conditions, RSV is different. For those babies, RSV can lead to serious lung infections like pneumonia and bronchiolitis. In fact, RSV is the number one reason why babies under 12 months old in the US have to go into hospitals."
I'm glad we were spared by today's tornado! Our deck had 2 inches of hail in spots. I don't know when I've ever felt so nervous over the weather, but I tend to be paranoid these days. I know it's irrational, but I fear that something bad is going to happen to one of us because Ramsey is doing so well. I keep thinking of stories I've heard of soldiers who survive the war only to suffer some tragedy at home. I wonder if there is a name for this type of fear and if or when it will end for me.

7 comments:

  1. That smile is priceless!!! He is getting so big! May God continue to bless him.

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  2. Sarah Witt PrinkeyMarch 23, 2011 at 9:48 PM

    May GOD'S peace fill your heart & keep u & your beautiful family safe.

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  3. Don't worry about tomorrow, you are being watched over by God. He will not let you down. Enjoy every second of every day, it's all a gift from Him. Dr. Phil once said on one of his shows, that if you spend all your time worrying about bad things happening and it never happens, then you've wasted all your time worrying. So think only good things and happy thoughts. Still thinking of you and sending prayers. Bernie

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  4. Oh Lisa --- YOU of all people have EVERY right to feel nervous. And there is a name for it --- a mother's love!!! And what a SMILE --- i love it.

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  5. Lisa, I sometimes let fear overtake me as well, fearing that God is going to allow something bad to happen to me or my boys, etc. I also know that when that happens, it is not thoughts from God but rather that of Satan. God doesn't want you or me to worry. Do I succeed in letting worry slip by me, unfortunately no. But, I'm working on it. I've also learned that when something bad happens (or to me bad), it is allowed to happen to bring glory to God. And, that's what we desire, to bring glory to God, we just don't like when bad things happen for that to happen. Hang in there....keep focused on Him. Ramsey has a beautiful smile! I bet big brother is loving him like crazy!

    Paige

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  6. So glad to see you writing again. I knew what was happening daily, but it just felt so good hearing it from you. What a happy smile from our little Angel. Thank God for bringing him through this, and I know he will continue to be with all of you. Remember...GOD WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU!!!! Love you.

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  7. What a cutie! I still have that feeling and Dakota is more than 2 years old. But I try to channel it into making everything else seem like not a big deal. Money troubles? Well at least I have my angel here with me. Can't sell my house? Oh well, my Dakota is here with me in it so I am lucky anyways! It makes me appreciate everything in life more.
    Hugs,
    Jennifer
    Mom to Dakota 12-25-2008
    RCDH survivor

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