Thursday, January 5, 2012

Sorrow and Joy

I have been anticipating the new year for months. I had this perception that I needed a fresh start. I waited for January 1st hoping 2012 would bring easier days. Ramsey's birth and the prospect of losing him was the start of a rough year. Other difficult times followed. I remain thankful for the gift of his life, and for the countless ways we've been blessed amidst trials. Still, I just wanted to start over.

Then came my newsflash: life isn't about starting over. Life is one continuous ride. It's a journey complete with ups and downs. The good times make us smile. The bad times make us stronger. Often, we take the good times and those we share them with for granted. Difficulties leave us thankful and often surprised by the support we're given and the strength we're provided.

Ramsey's birthday is only a week away. It's the special day I've been waiting for, more anxiously than I've waited for January 1, but my joy is juxtaposed with sadness. Sometimes the ups and downs happen too quickly. The good and the bad occasionally merge. This week they've collided.

I am in complete shock and heartbreak for my brother as we mourn the loss of his fiancé, Elaine. I can't think of another person more equally beautiful both inside and out. She was compassionate, sincere, loving, complementary and non-judgmental...and that's just to name a few of her strong qualities. Her death is untimely. We can only hope that one day, we might understand why it had to end. We know that despite our sorrow, we must seek good...like the organs she has donated. Like the families at the Ronald McDonald House who will benefit from memorial contributions made in her name. Like the example she made each time she spoke the words, "I Love You" because she NEVER forgot to say them.

Don't wait for a new year. Appreciate each day, each hour, each minute. If you love someone, say it. Life's not always easy but we should never take it for granted.

I love you, Elaine and I miss you already.

9 comments:

  1. No we shouldn't and sad that this world has lost a soul like Elaine. Thinking of you - always - LOVE YOU!

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  2. Oh Lisa. I am sorry. And I am in awe of your wisdom, taking your grief and turning it into lines like "life is not about starting over; it is one contiunous ride." Yes. Praying for your family.
    Corinne, Samuel's mama

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  3. Aunt Veta {Alan's aunt}January 5, 2012 at 3:48 PM

    Elaine was one of the nicest, kindest,beautiful people that I ever met. She was soon to become Alan's wife. His daughters and all of his family dearly loved her. She brightened up our get togethers like no one ever could.I pray she is looking down on us, and knowing how much we miss her. Rest in Peace, Elaine.

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  4. Allison, Tricia's sisterJanuary 5, 2012 at 6:59 PM

    Lisa, not only do you have unimaginable grace and strength, but God has also blessed you with the gift of words. You are an inspired writer, putting intangible thoughts to paper (or computer) that become so real to the reader. Our family rejoices with you in the joy of Ramsey's first birthday and grieves with yours in the loss of your loved one.

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  5. Your friend, Allison, is so right Lisa. You have a beautiful gift of words. Even as a pastor, there are times when there are simply no words. Your brother and your entire family are in our prayers as we continue to pray for God's peace. In a Spirit of Love, Pastor Ardi

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  6. Bev Baker (Bev's Studio of Hair)January 5, 2012 at 9:00 PM

    Lisa, your words helped me understand this devastating time. I am just so in shock and pray for strength to get thru and understand it all. I too, need to make everyday a New Yrs Day. Thank you so much. I am praying for Alan and all of those who loved her as I did for 30 yrs. See you soon. Happy Birthday Ramsey, peace be with you Elaine. And Happy New Yr. to all.

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  7. Kathy Fauth (Elaine's niece)January 5, 2012 at 11:38 PM

    Lisa, your words were beautiful. Elaine was a wonderful person and our lives will never be the same without her. We are so sorry she has lost her way and we are now without the light she carried with her but she will be forever in our hearts.

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  8. Lisa, I can't thank you enough for writing this...it's beautiful. You are gifted with the words to help at such a devastating time in our lives, and for that I thank you. So many of the words everyone has used to describe Elaine, I have too. I will never forget the "I love you" every time I spoke with her. She had a way about her, an energy that shined thru, that made you want to be near her always. May peace be with you and your family at this difficult time, and with all of us mourning the loss of our amazing friend. I'm so glad Alan is blessed to have you all.

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  9. Lisa thank you for the beautiful expression of words. You perfectly described the one I have loved for the past ten years, today and forever. She was the most beautiful person that I ever have met, on the inside and out. This untimely event has many people asking WHY?, How could she do this? I want everyone to remember Elaine as that kind, compassionate person that we all loved. She did not do this to hurt me, her family, friends and coworkers . A sickness took her. When a person dies of cancer, we blame the disease not the person. Unfortunately Elaine was affected by a sickness that strikes many people,yet it is seldom talked about, it affected her mind, causing her to do what she did. knowing this gives me peace. I know Elaine is in heaven because I was by her side when accepted Christ into her heart. again, this gives me peace. Elaine, I miss you, will always love you, and look forward to the day that we meet in Heaven.Until then May you Rest in Peace. Love Ya Alan

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