With the guidance of the nurse, I bathed and weighed Ramsey last night. I also was able to hold him while she changed his bedding. He wasn't quite as clean as I wanted him, but I didn't want to scrub too hard! His oxygen was turned up during the process so he wouldn't have to work so hard. Afterwards, his heart rate stayed pretty high, around 180. We let him fight it a little, so he can learn how to recover on his own without being dependent on sedatives, etc. for help.
He continued to have a bit of a rough night, so they took that as a sign that we've been pushing him a little too hard in the last few days. The nurse stressed that she wasn't worried...she said she is more worried about me because she knows that I will blame the bath I gave him on the setback. They decided to turn up the oxygen to 40, which is still a low setting. They also turned his morphine back up a bit. They gave him some saline, believing that he might have been too dry, which contributes to a higher heart rate.
They just finished giving him some blood to help with his oxygen. They will also give him lasiks to counteract any fluid retention caused by the blood. He may need to start on Methadone to help as he weans off of all the medications he's become so accustomed to. We're not sure yet if they will lower the nitric oxide today or leave it as is until tomorrow.
I wonder just how nervous we will be when we finally take Ramsey home. It is important as he is cared for to pay close attention to his color, especially on his lips. Since he has so much support while in the hospital, that would obviously indicate any signs of distress, but when we take him home, we won't have that to rely on. That's a bit unnerving, but I hope as time goes on we'll have less fear of such a setback and a strong mother's (and father's) intuition if there ever is a problem.
Reading this brings me back to when Kayla was in the NICU...I remember her first bath and I was so scared! And I thought the same thing - omg what am I going to do when I actually get to take her home... I was a nervous wreck!! It really was sooo much easier when she got home! What made it easier when we got home was that her stay at the NICU, she travelled to different rooms when they thought she needed less immediate attention- and in each room it seemed she lost another machine for me to rely on. By the time we got to go home, she wasn't hooked up to anything- And we were just working on getting her to eat better/more. So the transitions in the NICU made going home and relying on your instincts much easier! :)
ReplyDeleteHang in there and remember to stay positive! :)
I've been following Ramsey's progress and thinking of you all often. Blogging is an incredible modern messaging vehicle. I almost feel right there. All the best always, thinking and praying for you all, especially the Brave Little Soul!
ReplyDeleteOXOXOX
Damien
Oh Lisa, Don't be blaming yourself for the bath or anything else. The nurses wouldn't let you do what they let you do if they didn't want Ramsey to progress in the way that he is. I just read a blog from the wife of one of the Casting Crowns group members, remarking about an incident they've been going through with their adopted young daughter. She stated "What it really comes down to was this question: Do I really believe that God IS who He says He is?" She went on to conclude: "It was time for my actions to reveal my Faith. Because if I'm worried or stressed then that is a clear indication that I do not believe that God is who He says He is. His word says that He is my Father, my Provider, my Protector, my Refuge, my Shield, my Counselor, my Healer, my Hope, my Redeemer, my Rock and my Savior. If I truly believe all that, then why am I worried?"
ReplyDeleteI shared this because I unfortunately spend more time worrying than anyone I know of, and it was indeed such a good reminder for me when I read what she wrote. Maybe it will help you as well when those nerve wracking, worrisome times strike you. There will be more or them, and not just with Ramsey. I love Phillipians 4:11-13 "....I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, .....I can do everything through Him who gives me strength."
I apologize for the long blog.... Paige